Unknown

It seems to be a common phrase nowadays – You’re not alone.

There’s plenty of songs, plenty of popular writers, plenty of everyone really telling us that we aren’t alone. Yes, things are difficult right now, but don’t you worry ol’ chum, at least you aren’t alone.

We are alone though.

Depression is isolating. It tears at the bridges you’ve built, it pushes you down into a dark hole and it takes away the ladder. It doesn’t matter whether you live an objectively ‘good’ life, depression levels you. It follows no rhyme or reason, and it takes no prisoners. Worst of all, you have to face it alone.

Of course, I’m not denying that the people in our lives who love us, if we are lucky enough to have them, do their utmost to support us. They can be patient, they can be kind, but ultimately the battle is fought alone. Our supply lines end up cut off, and we are left, in our tiny little dugout waiting for the shells to stop raining.

We are each of us an island, a bastion, a fortress. Against which unassailable waves crash everyday. Yet we are stronger for it. There is strength to be found in our solitude. If we can endure, if we can flourish even under these conditions, then what could possibly hurt us?

You are alone, but you are strong. You are alone, but you are capable of love and kindness. Your suffering has given you perspective and power. Use that perspective, use that power, try your hardest to make sure that the people you care about never feel as fucking awful as you do. That is your gift to share, and your curse.

I’d like you to try something, for me, for this unknown person. I’d like you to pick up your phone and call someone that you love, or care about, and tell them that you love them. Tell them that you appreciate them. Tell them that they mean so very much to you. Tell them that even though things are difficult right now, even though you find it hard to talk about, even though you feel so fucking alone everyday, despite all of that – it doesn’t stop you loving them.

Try it, for me.